Monday, January 28, 2013

You're Killing Me Smalls!

I just put out ads on my 4 yr. old Oldenburg x TB gelding.  It hurts, but is necessary at this point in my life.  His life too actually.  I carefully chose his dam & sire, spent hours mulling over pedigrees, show accomplishments back to great-grandsires & dams, etc.  He is my baby.  I was the first human to ever lay a hand on him, he would leave his dam and come cantering to the fence if he saw me starting at a few weeks of age.  He will still leave food and the herd he pastures with to come see me and get loved on.  If a few things were different I wouldn't be talking about this, it wouldn't be an issue.

However, those things exist, and so does this circumstance accordingly.  It breaks my heart in ways I cannot begin to describe, and I sit here typing with tears brimming over, my stomach turning acidy with the thoughts running through my mind. He is truly a fantastic prospect for dressage, which I dearly love, or show jumping, hunters, possibly field hunter as well.  He is a grandget of Peron, the winningest Olympic dressage horse in American Olympic history, and has other famous grandsires who jumped their hearts out, here and in Germany.

Unfortunately, due to all the car accidents and ATV accident, the past two years, I am not going to be able to ride a horse with his big stride, soft as it may be.  I look up at him and think of climbing up and onto his back, and feel both fear and longing.  I want to so badly be the first person who ever sits this horse, feel his muscles bunching under me.  Then I think about all the doctor's comments about never getting a serious concussion or back injury ever again, and I close my eyes and hold back tears.  Regret is a bitter thing.

I also posted my dressage saddle, bridles, and the custom browband I had made just for him.  It hurt as well, though not nearly as much as posting him does.  I'm sure I'll be friendly and polite to all who inquire about him, but I can imagine that I will also be hard with the questions and when I ultimately agree to hand him over, my heart will break into a million broken bits, sharp with loss.  My beautiful boy, I will do my level best to place you into the hands of someone who will love you as I have!

Two weeks old

Four months at his AWS inspection, earned Blue Preferred 

Nearly grown up & gorgeous as always!

Thursday, January 10, 2013

2013 Underway

We delivered our two Quarter Horse mares to the University of Findlay over in far northwestern Ohio on the 5th, I've heard from both of the student trainers assigned to each of them, and look forward to continued updates as they progress.  It was a 7 hour drive each way, and boy is my back paying for it.  Whew.  Seriously, I hurt y'all.  It is manageable though, which is good.  Great really.

Then our middle daughter and the baby are still living with us, and she is growing like the proverbial weed.  So chatty and walking up a storm too.  She's already trying to run, and that is a real hoot.  HA!  She'll be 11 months old this coming Sunday.  Can you belive it?  Yeah, me neither.

We joined the new Planet Fitness that opens up soon, just built, and now they're getting it all set up in there with the equipment, hiring staff, and so forth.  I can't wait to start working out again.  That last car accident back last August seriously set me back, and I won't talk about the ATV accident in June on my birthday, other than to say, yikes!  That fall has set me on my backside as far as weight loss, memory issues, severe and persistent headaches, and so on.  Bull puckey!

Anyhow, I am psyched to begin a brand new year of my life, and new stage in the journey it's taking me on.  I love that I am alive, have this amazing granddaughter, fabulous kids who have grown into the most awesome adults, a mom who I am finding new things about constantly, a husband who grows and tries so hard to be a good partner, who loves me no matter what.  These are the things I hold nearest and dearest to my heart at all times, no matter what life and the universe throws at me.  I just duck and keep on walking.