Saturday, December 3, 2011

I found my silver lining while composing this post!

I have been seriously feeling overwhelmed & bummed out.  Maxed out.  Worn out.  Worn down.  Run down.  It's bad.  It's the when it rains, it pours syndrome I think.  Our Dodge Durango went in for some repairs due to having hit a rather large deer.  Now we knew that the radiator was cracked, that there was some body damage, etc., but we did not expect engine damage, nor did the insurance adjuster/claims assessor dude.

Um yeah, so there was engine damage actually, and it was extensive, and after a big repair we picked it up only to break down on the way home, and a few miles from the house.  It was winched onto a flatbed trailer & hauled back down, and after several diagnostics were run, which are not cheap let me just get that out there, they tell us the engine is shot & cannot be saved.

Then there is the VW Cabrio, which has been in the shop for several weeks as well.  Oh, and the Durango was in for an entire month  mind  you.  They replaced the transmission, we picked it up, and the shaking & noise pissed me off.  It was much worse than when I took it in there.  Then I get it home & parked and then started puking.  The fumes coming off the engine made me sick & the smell of the burning was pretty intense.  Yeah, so guess where my car is now?  Yup, back in the freaking shop, and to the tune of another $400+ on top of the other $300+ we just paid a few days ago.  Not. Freaking. Happy. At. All.  OMFG!  Seriously I've just had it.  All of our savings is now gone with all the co-pays & expenses on these vehicles.

I worked so hard to build that up, to have something for the future, and to be able to move out of here.  Finally.  Now I wonder if I'll ever be able to do that.  I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that I may well be here in PA for a long time to come, and I'm not curling up in a fetal ball weeping hysterically, so that's good, I guess.

I was going to use some of my money in the savings to help one of my kids out by putting a transmission into the Civic I bought from my son.  He has a Jetta now & I bought the Civic for what he would have gotten at a salvage yard, so not bad.  There is a lot of new body work & things on it, the tires aren't bad, and it's in really good shape.  Just needs that tranny.  But now I have no money at all.  There is $15 in my checking account and all that's left in savings is what is needed to keep it active so they won't stick a ton of fees & charges on me for not having the minimum in there.  Oy!

Thanking my lucky stars I did my Christmas shopping early this year & that it is all finished up.  Seriously, I would not be able to hold on to my anger if I'd missed out on shopping for things for my kids and my mom.  I like to gift the people I love with things I think they're really going to like/love/appreciate and can use, etc.  Mom went with me again this year and added to what I've gotten them already, and so there is no doubt in my mind the 4 kids will like what they're getting, and my son-in-law too.  He is in the Navy now & has been away since Labor Day for boot camp & now training school.  I'm so proud of him for doing this, and even more proud of my daughter for being strong through it.  I can only imagine how hard it is to miss your husband like that, and being apart for their 1st anniversary, etc.  She is amazing to me.

Timmy & Beth & the get away car

Liv, Beth, Timmy & Kait

Beth & Timmy

Isn't she beautiful?  Not that they aren't all gorgeous, they are.  My kids take my breath away they are so beautiful in my opinion.  I know all moms say that, but they leave me in awe in so many, many ways.  All the time.  Tim, Beth, and Kait have gone down to the deep south & rebuilt after Katrina, they volunteer with youth in several ways, teach at church, and so on.  My son and the way he is there for his friends when they really don't have anyone else, Liv with her pregnancy & all she & little Sora have faced.  I am in love with my children & am so very blessed beyond measure to have them in my life.

Kait & Beth

Kait & Matty

My silly, beautiful girls!

Matt & Kait

Bethy & Kait

My niece Erika, Kait, me, Bethy & Liv

Sora Riley, my 1st granddaughter, due 2/4/12

1 comment:

  1. Hello! I found you by your comment left on "Talk2TheTrees" blog. It really touched home when you said "Memories are also healing & powerful & precious." just hit me like a tone of bricks.

    Thank you! :D And I'm happy to see that I'm your first follower!!! YAY!!!!

    What a beautiful family you have. :)