Friday, December 31, 2010

This Too Passed

Me, age 7, with Lady, a Welsh pony, on my uncle's ranch in Myrtle Creek, OR circa '74.

You see them there, eyes full of dreams,

plotting and scheming childhood things.

Chasing clouds in the sky, shadows on the ground,

living imagination until supper rolled around.

--Chelle R. Wenger

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

It don't take money, don't take fame...

Happiness is...

a hot cuppa joe first thing in the morning

snuggling with my dog Suki

Huey Lewis, Billy Joel, Bruce Springsteen, 'nuff said

snuffling noses with my horses

fat, fluffy snowflakes on a windless day

laughs from good friends

good friends, especially those you've yet to meet face to face but who get you the most

the first sunny spring day of every year

the crunchiness of the first fallen leaves in autumn

every single pound off

going back to school in my mid-40's

black & white kettle corn from Popcorn Indiana, OMG, so good

you...yes you

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

May your days be merry & bright and may all your Christmases be white.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

The Power Of Love

My boy Sebastian.  I can't believe he's 18 months already, and even scarier, he's taller than both his sire & dam now o.O  Considering warmbloods grow until they are any where from 5 to 7 years old I'm wondering just how tall he's going to get on me.  I'm 5'10" so a tall horse won't be a terrible thing, but holy smokes, I don't need a giraffe :)  I did ask my mother in-law for a 3-step mounting block for Christmas just in case he gets taller than I'm anticipating.

I'm really missing my dad these past few days, and it's 9 years next month since we lost him.  Does it get easier?  He'd be 90 and then some if he were still alive.  I want to pick up the phone and hear his voice, or get one of his hugs and smell that Old Spice & tobacco mixture that was uniquely my dad.

That said, I am closer to my mom than we've ever been.  We talk all the time and joke around, shop together, go to lunch.  I'm 43 years old, I missed so much.  I plan on making every single year, month, and day with her count from here on out though.  Absolutely.

Mom looking out at our lower 40 acres after heavy rains about 2 weeks ago.  It had a very strong current in there, nearly took my legs out from under me.

Off to listen to Huey Lewis & make chicken tacos.  Go hug someone you love!

Friday, December 3, 2010

No pressure no diamonds

After every storm there is calm, we just have to weather them the best we can.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

So bittersweet

My mom & I the summer of '72.  I was 5 & she was 28.  I love this photo of us and the memories it instantly invokes.  Oh to be catching fireflies in a jar.

I was 7 & it was '74.  The pony is a Welsh mare named Lady & she was my steadfast companion that summer I spent on my uncle & aunt's ranch in southwestern Oregon.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

I Must Have Walked A Million Miles

On wobbly legs I stood and walked
at least a million miles.
Stood and walked a million miles
til they wobbled no more.

With tiny fingers I reached and touched
at least a million things.
Reached and touched a million things
til they reached no more.

Soft and loud I sputtered and talked
at least a million words.
Sputtered and talked a million words
til I could speak no more.

Twitching nostrils smelling and sneezing
at least a million smells.
Smelling and sneezing a million smells
til it could smell no more.

Bright green eyes saw and saved
at least a million sights.
Saw and saved a million sights
til they could see no more.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

What's this?

(I can hear that said as it was on Nightmare Before Christmas, which now has me wanting to go play it.)

How does one find themselves aged 43 years old and no concrete idea what to be?  Seriously, it's on my last nerve trying to work this out.  I'm currently taking classes for medical office management, and I'm doing well, instructor comments include, "You're a natural at this, you won't have any trouble getting hired by a good office."  Well yay, but come on, it's a good career, I know I can do it, but is it what I truly want to be?  Not so much.

I wanted to be things like a DJ, military law enforcement spec (when I was in the Air Force), author, special effects creator, horse trainer (which I have actually done, then got injured), and surfer (as in pro surfer living the life chasing waves around the world & getting paid br'a, ya dig?).

What I have been thus far includes things such as waitress, cashier, med tech, horse trainer, and mom (best unpaid job in the entire universe, hands down!).  Note that none of these give one the experience to be any of the previously mentioned things, excepting perhaps author due to life experience gained, lost, and so forth.

Today I was perusing surgical tech as I find that vastly more intriguing than med office manager to be sure, and hey, I am not at all one to be sick at the sight of blood, other bodily fluids, etc., thanks to Uncle Sam and my stint as a med tech in the Air Force.  Oorah.

How many do-overs do you think one gets per life time?  Hmm.  Good question eh?  Yeah, I thought so.  I wonder that fairly frequently.  Oy.  I need to go have some more coffee, watch something to distract myself for a while, and to remember that life's a dance you learn as you go.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

It Is Good

I stand here in the midst of this storm and I wonder,
where will I be when it is over?
All my footprints shall be lost, swept over with new
dust, and so will be no more.
No longer will they beckon me to stumble back into
the past, leave it behind forever.

A wind whispers sweet nothings into my head,
lulling me out of this pondering.
Turning closed eyes to the sun, light fills my eyes
none the less and I weep.
Is one crying if there is no one to hear, or to see, or
to taste the salty warmth?

Catching myself before falling into a cold sea of
memorial misery I stop.
Slowly I begin to once again move my feet, one
then the other.
As I begin the steps of a continuing journey, I take
a breath and it is good.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

I Will

Today I will choose to put one foot in front of the other and not look behind me.
I will greet those I come across with a smile and wonder if, like me, there is more to them.
I will silently say a breath prayer for their day and journey.
My feet will keep moving and I will contemplate whose feet fell on this spot before mine.

When it gets noisy in my head I will call for silence, that most golden jewel.
I will listen for the small, still voice that rises above all others and calls my name.
I will rejoice in that familiarity and allow it to wash over me.
My feet will keep moving and I will wonder how it is I am so loved.

At the end of my day I will kick the shoes from my feet and wiggle my toes.
I will reflect on those things I have seen and heard as I walked my path this day.
I will be thankful for what I have learned, tasted, heard, seen, and shared.
My feet will stop moving and I will close my eyes and I will sleep.